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Justice Goldberg Always Wanted Me To Become A Judge
document Justice Goldberg always wanted me to become a judge House Oversight Committee — Epstein Estate Records (Nov 2025)

…ent. I was surprised that Justice Goldberg was so insistent since he himself had left the bench after only 3 years. I don’t think I would have lasted 3 months. In any event

As Judge Aldrich Continued To Press Me About His Grandmother’s Sensibilities
document As Judge Aldrich continued to press me about his grandmother’s sensibilities House Oversight Committee — Epstein Estate Records (Nov 2025)

…e man with the broken watch who goes into a storefront window and asks the man behind the counter to fix his watch. “I don’t fix watches. I perform circumcisions

When I Then Advised The Court That Under My Theory
document When I then advised the court that under my theory House Oversight Committee — Epstein Estate Records (Nov 2025)

…t have to view the film. Judge Aldrich immediately interjected: “Are you trying to bribe us to decide the case so we don’t have to see the film?...I will admit that’s the best bribe I have ever been offered.”

Mr. Dershowitz. Well
document Mr. DERSHOWITZ. Well House Oversight Committee — Epstein Estate Records (Nov 2025)

…t politicians that get up and make political speeches are doing it for a motive which is not unrelated to that. Yet we don’t probe the motives of Presidents and Vice-presidents and Senators in speaking. Nor should we probe the motives of newspaper publishers and film producers.

I Don’t Know What Actually Took Place In Mike Tyson’s Hotel Room On That Fateful Night
document I don’t know what actually took place in Mike Tyson’s hotel room on that fateful night House Oversight Committee — Epstein Estate Records (Nov 2025)

but it may well have fallen into the category of gray area. He believed that she wanted to sleep with him. She may have been ambivalent or sending mixed signals (though I doubt it). It was a close case and Tyson was entitled to have his defense presented vigorously

Steamroller That Occurred
document steamroller that occurred House Oversight Committee — Epstein Estate Records (Nov 2025)

…ery much to talk to him. I thought he was getting terrible advice from his lawyers. I tried to write him a letter. I don’t know if he ever read the letter.

5. Don’t Pretend Your Celebrity Or High Profile Case Is Just Like An Ordinary Case. The Media Is Watching Your Every Move
document 5. Don’t pretend your celebrity or high profile case is just like an ordinary case. The media is watching your every move House Oversight Committee — Epstein Estate Records (Nov 2025)

and every move should take into account the anticipated media coverage. This doesn’t mean you should make or refrain from making the right move because of the anticipated coverage

These Were Precisely The Sort Of Theological Questions We Were Not Supposed To Be Thinking About. We Were Supposed To Do And Not Do—Go To Shul
document These were precisely the sort of theological questions we were not supposed to be thinking about. We were supposed to do and not do—go to shul House Oversight Committee — Epstein Estate Records (Nov 2025)

don’t eat shrimp—and to ask our Rabbi what to think about such esoteric issues. They know the religiously correct answer. Yet the addition of the two words to the pledge forced me not only to think about them but to try to place them in the context of my own role as a young Ort...

“I’m Certainly A Civil Libertarian
document “I’m certainly a civil libertarian House Oversight Committee — Epstein Estate Records (Nov 2025)

although I don’t like that term. I prefer to think of myself as an advocate for human rights…” Dershowitz’s definition of human rights is uncomplicated. He applies to the world at large a “core concept of human rights”—everyone should be free to express opinions and views

I Was Shocked By His Disproportionately Response To My Somewhat Flippant Request For A Favor For My Son. I Looked Him Straight In The Eye And Said
document I was shocked by his disproportionately response to my somewhat flippant request for a favor for my son. I looked him straight in the eye and said House Oversight Committee — Epstein Estate Records (Nov 2025)

“I’m not a circus performer either. I don’t perform free legal services for ingrates who refuse to do a small favor for a young child whose learning how to play chess. Find another lawyer and pay him the going rate.” He walked away. I walked away and I never saw him again.

99 An Old Soviet Dissident Joke Went This Way: The Leader Of Czechoslovakia Asked His Soviet Masters For Money For A Department Of The Navy. The Soviet Replied
document 99 An old Soviet dissident joke went this way: The leader of Czechoslovakia asked his Soviet masters for money for a Department of the Navy. The Soviet replied House Oversight Committee — Epstein Estate Records (Nov 2025)

“But you’re a landlocked country and don’t need a department of the Navy.” The Czech leader replied: “Well you have a Department of Justice.”

Cartoonist Mary Lawton depicted a character saying, “I just found
document IMAGES-003-HOUSE_OVERSIGHT_015349.txt House Oversight Committee — Epstein Estate Records (Nov 2025)

…out that the secret sauce on top of Jack-in- the-Box hamburgers is, after all, sperm.” But let’ s not forget those who don’ t eat meat. They face an ethical dilemma--whether or not it’ s an acceptable practice for a vegetarian to give a blow job, and if so, is it all right to sw...

jaw and nodding his head in affirmation of a new discovery. “So,” he
document IMAGES-003-HOUSE_OVERSIGHT_015361.txt House Oversight Committee — Epstein Estate Records (Nov 2025)

…e a verbal jazz musician. Audience laughter would sometimes turn into clapping for the creative process itself. “Please don't applaud,” he’ d request. “It breaks my rhythm.” HOUSE_OVERSIGHT_015361

“We need more rape jokes. We really do. Needless to say, rape
email IMAGES-003-HOUSE_OVERSIGHT_015407.txt House Oversight Committee — Epstein Estate Records (Nov 2025)

…, it’ s like the safest area to talk about in comedy‘ cause who’ s gonna complain about a rape joke? Rape victims? They don’ t even report rape. They’ re just traditionally not complainers.” Ironically, in 7he Aristocrats, a documentary entirely about a classic joke of the same...