Every indexed document

though some things are just obvious. Some people really get off

like ""public humiliation"" or ""domestic servitude"" or

but those words usually describe actions or

but they were definitely exceptional.) The BDSM community has lots of

I think the last time I read one I hadn't

No. I hate it. But I don't want you to stop doing it.""

very little about the reality [of BDSM] matched my fantasies. Oh

but sometimes the words are used for other things too. I've found that I

but I'm not sure how many other people separate them.)

it doesn't make any sense outside my own body

narrow bites are dirty. Pulling my hair anywhere besides the nape of my neck

like suede. Pulling my hair right above the nape of my neck.

my thighs. There are certain types of pain that are inherently more clean --

and that I sometimes try to explain to my partners -- were ""clean"" pain and ""dirty""

I started coming up with my own vocabulary for what I liked and what

and around the BDSM subculture there are more precise terms

I wonder how it would have felt if I'd taken that deliberate year of chastity.

but I also felt so much pressure to be sexual that it sometimes felt like a

sometimes it felt good. It felt safe. I wanted

really didn't want to talk about sex. And while