Every indexed document

or walk away with the prospect of one day many

I had to put on an act like I enjoyed submitting my body and being

as if there was this invisible hierarchy and by instinct I knew

always obliging to their needs but reserved enough not to get

Ghislane and I performing lesbian acts of foreplay on each other

and I asked Jeffrey how his day was lounging

and to follow her down the hallway to the massage

as long as she was able to have the last say. I knew my boundaries

so when I started to cough from the inhalation of smoke

replaying the moments of shame that ate away myself piece by

until it got to the end and I was expected to

feeling like maybe I shouldn' t have been

this time Ghislane joining in with us for

I could still feel their hands in me and all over me and inside

I needed some encouragement and the right words to

not yet understanding it all came down to the choices 1 had

wasn' t it belittling enough having to endure the illicit massage from

he seemed to like that. He sounded like a

like it was all normal and accepted. I listened

straddling him so he could penetrate me.