social "calibration" -- increasing one's capacity to read social situations -- as well as

social "calibration" -- increasing one's capacity to read social situations -- as well as "inner game" and being attractive by improving oneself will generally be a positive good. Indeed, it could be argued that no PUA tactics are inherently abusive, but some are more obviously susceptible to being used badly... the same way a sword is more obviously susceptible to evil usage than a table. Previous feminist writers have usually preferred to complain about the seduction community's misogyny rather than examining the community deeply. I have been more interested to see whether I could understand and make use of the positive PUA theories. Understanding the "Darth Vader" types might be useful, too. There is a percentage of PUAs who are non-consensually hurting women, and if we learn how those men do it, we might also figure out how to disarm them. I must acknowledge that I eventually felt that the community was damaging, poisonous, and unhealthy for me -- to the extent that I needed to get out and detox. (PUA detox is a recognized phenomenon even among some PUAs... and former PUAs.) However, there are truths within it that are both intriguing and important. I have never quite erased my fear of having my "feminist card" revoked, although it is not clear how "feminists" -- a fractious group if ever there was one -- could withdraw my presence in the movement. There is no Central Standards Bureau for feminists. Perhaps inevitably, the feminist reaction to Confessions of a Pickup Artist Chaser was quite mixed... although some other feminists appear to agree that there are important and interesting things to learn from PUAs about gender, culture, and feminist consent models. An overall lesson here might be that thinkers with a lot in common are increasingly isolated from each other through the accelerating Balkanization of detailed, insular, interest-based subcultures. Like the drive towards interdisciplinary research in academia, perhaps a kind of interdisciplinary subcultural approach is being developed by those of us more interested in building bridges than burning them. te ok ok This can be found on the Internet at: http://clarissethorn.com/blog/2012/02/27/feminist-sm-lessons-from-the-seduction- community/ S&M: [storytime] The Strange Binary of Dominance and Submission I wrote this in early 2012, and it was originally published at RoleReboot.org. If I had to summarize my relationship with this gentleman today, then ironically enough, I'd say that "it got complicated and I'm pretty sure it's over now." I still like this piece, though. HOUSE_OVERSIGHT_018673