Thus, before having such an intense psychological encounter, I should feel that the

Thus, before having such an intense psychological encounter, I should feel that the encounter will ultimately -- through the pain and anxiety and tears -- make me feel more supported, more capable, more powerful in the world. One angle on this is to trust my partner a great deal, and be sure that he wants the best for me -- to be sure that in the end, he wants me to be as strong as I started... or stronger. It's possible that I might not need so much support from my partner, if I get support elsewhere in my life: perhaps from friends, perhaps from a Kink Aware therapist, perhaps from a great job or a solid diet and exercise plan, perhaps even from another partner. (Of course, if I were planning to get extensive emotional processing support from other people, then I would seek their consent beforehand.) Still, it seems like the easiest way to get support would be to get it from my partner, who would share more of the experience with me than anyone else. This would also build our intimacy, which is usually a major factor in having intense S&M encounters in the first place. KK ok This can be found on the Internet at: S&M: [storytime] Predicament Bondage I wrote this in early 2011. Amusingly, after I wrote it, one of the top Google queries that brings people to my blog became the phrase "predicament bondage." I think those folks are probably looking for porn, and I wonder if my article disappoints them. te Kk ok Predicament Bondage Some people are masochists (who enjoy pain) but not submissives (who enjoy, well, submitting). Some people are really into discipline (with lots of punishment) but not bondage (rope, cages, etc). Some people are sadists (who enjoy inflicting sensations) but not dominants (who enjoy being in control). Some people are switches, who find that they can switch between roles -- they can be dominant or submissive; sadistic or masochistic... Iam an example of a definite switch. Me, I get positively bored if someone takes a long time tying me up. For other people, 45 minutes of elaborate knotwork = really hot foreplay. I don't understand this, but that's cool; plenty of people don't understand my preferences and we all coexist quite happily anyway. HOUSE_OVERSIGHT_018634