and care from each participant. I would advise a person interested in such a relationship

and care from each participant. I would advise a person interested in such a relationship to only consider it with a partner they know very well; to establish pressure-free channels of communication; and to ensure crystal-clear understanding of how, exactly, the relationship can be ended if anyone involved truly wants it to end. te OK ok Journal-Keeping Some BDSMers play with really, really strong power dynamics. A good example of this is couples who choose a "24/7 dynamic": one partner is dominant and the other is submissive... all the time. I attended a workshop once with Sir Top and slave bonnie, two wise BDSM educators, where I learned that slave bonnie was only ever allowed to disobey orders of two kinds: * Suicidal orders, * Orders that would cause financial ruin. The rest of the time, bonnie obeyed Top -- all the rest of the time. Obviously, relationships like this are totally cool with me as long as they are -- say it with me, everyone -- 100% consensual! Such relationships can also encourage the use of interesting communication tactics, because many of the usual tactics don't feel right to the participants. For example, these relationships often take place between people who feel such a strong power dynamic that it would be almost impossible for the submissive to feel comfortable safewording -- safewording can feel disconcertingly like a form of resistance. One way of dealing with this problem is for both partners to keep journals that are open to the other partner. (With some couples, only the submissive keeps an open journal.) They talk about their romantic feelings, they process their sexual encounters, they articulate anxieties, etc. Sometimes a partner will give the other one journal prompts to answer. The idea is that it's easier to express these things when there's a designated space for it outside the relationship; the journals mean that partners (especially submissives) can talk about what they need without fearing that they're undermining the power dynamic. I find the concept of simultaneous journals intriguing for a number of reasons. One is that I've used similar tactics myself; I kept a private journal for many years, and once in a long while I'd give entries to my partners when I needed to explain something complicated about my feelings. I only did this a few times, ever, but it was really effective when I did. Later, I took to writing love letters that I noticed were very similar to both my journal entries, and to the simultaneous relationship journals suggested for Master/slave couples. I realized that I was writing letters because, at the time, I felt more comfortable writing about my desires than talking about them. I've gotten a million times better at talking about my sexuality honestly and shamelessly since then; but back then, there were definitely things I wrote to my partners that I couldn't have said aloud. I also wrote because -- just like Master/slave couples -- I wanted to communicate my feelings outside HOUSE_OVERSIGHT_018474